Chapter II • 4,476 Days
• I had a strong mother to carry me into teenage-hood. I found my strength in her, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Losing my father at 12 meant missing out on the opportunity to absorbing many of his traits. As I entered puberty I completely ignored the testosterone infused raw-raw spirit of team sports, for instance. I had no interest in football, soccer, or baseball. To me it was just herd behavior, and that reminded me of being bullied in elementary school. I watched as passive by-standards got caught up in the frenzy of the crowd, suddenly finding themselves participating with the bullies. I still had a competitive spirit and found my strength in individual sports like swimming and martial arts. I often felt that the war zone I experienced in elementary school made me stronger, preparing me for various battles I faced in the corporate world.
• Throughout my teens I acquired my emotional intelligence from my mother. She was the disciplinarian, but underneath her tough exterior was a loving heart. I saw that more as I grew up. I realize in hindsight she had a profound effect my emotional sensitivity, and how I expressed it. I was emotionally complicated, and it effected my social interactions in positive and negative ways. Mainly my girlfriends noticed it, as they were much closer to my emotions than others. I looked into someone’s eyes and see their soul. It was my way of understanding what made then tick. I sometimes needed to avoid eye contact to not see that part of them. Other times I found it unnerving when I couldn’t immediately see who they really were. As if they were hiding something. In business I would walk into a room and feel the layer of emotion that dictated the meeting. Then I would deliberately change it to suit my agenda. Controlling the room’s emotion allowed me to control the meeting.
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